Think about the most confident person you know. Not the loudest person in the room — not the one who needs everyone to know how capable they are — but someone with a quiet, steady assurance about who they are and what they're made of. Chances are, that confidence wasn't handed to them. It was built, slowly and often painfully, through experience.

As parents, we feel the weight of wanting that for our sons. We want them to walk into hard seasons — a failed exam, a painful rejection, a moment of moral pressure — and not collapse. We want them to know who they are and, perhaps more importantly, Whose they are.

But here's what the research and, frankly, what Scripture both affirm: confidence is not primarily a product of praise. It's a product of experience. Psychologists have long understood that a young person's sense of self-efficacy — their belief that they are capable and competent — grows most when they navigate real challenges with a trusted adult alongside them. Not rescuing. Not doing it for them. Just present.

That's the role you're positioned to play. And the good news is that it doesn't require grand gestures or perfect parenting. Confidence is almost always built in ordinary moments — the kind that happen in your kitchen, your driveway, and your living room every single week.

Here are nine of them.

1. Learning a New Skill

There is a specific kind of confidence that only grows one way: by doing something you couldn't do before. Not being told you can do it. Actually doing it.

Whether it's changing a tire on a cold Saturday morning, learning to cook a real meal, building something with his hands, or picking up an instrument, the skill itself matters less than what it teaches. Every new competency gives your son evidence — concrete, lived evidence — that he is capable of growth. And that evidence compounds over time.

One of the most important things you can do in these moments is resist the urge to step in too quickly. Let him struggle. Struggle is not the enemy of confidence — it is the precondition for it. When your son wrestles with something difficult and eventually figures it out, his brain is doing something powerful: it's building a belief that effort leads to results.

"Do you see someone skilled in their work? They will stand before kings." — Proverbs 22:29

Skill, in the biblical sense, is not just about ability. It's about the character of someone willing to learn. Let your son develop that character, even when it's slower and messier than if you'd just done it yourself.

Try this: Next time something breaks around the house, bring him into the solution. Look it up together. Let him hold the wrench. Let the process be imperfect. What he'll remember isn't whether the faucet dripped for a day — it's that you believed he could figure it out.

2. Setting a Goal and Seeing It Through

One of the most disorienting experiences for a young man is to grow up without ever experiencing the full arc of a goal — from decision to discipline to outcome. Our culture makes this harder than it used to be. Everything is faster, more immediate, more disposable. Goals that require months of quiet, unattractive effort feel foreign.

But this is exactly why they matter so much.

The specific goal is almost irrelevant. Maybe it's saving money for something he actually wants to buy himself. Maybe it's finishing a book of the Bible, training for a race, or improving a grade through genuine effort over a semester. What you're really teaching him is that his decisions today have consequences tomorrow — and that he has more agency over his own life than he thinks.

Celebrate the discipline, not just the result. The result may be forgotten. The character it built won't be.

When he reaches that goal, don't just throw a party for the outcome. Celebrate the discipline, the consistency, and the moments when he could have quit but didn't. Those are the character muscles he'll draw on for the rest of his life.

"Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize." — 1 Corinthians 9:24

Paul understood something about spiritual maturity that applies equally to a teenage boy: growth that means something is almost always the result of intentional effort sustained over time. Help your son understand that his faith, his character, and his competence all work the same way.

3. Choosing What He Wants Most Over What He Wants Now

We are raising sons in a world that is engineered — quite literally engineered — to hijack their impulse control. Every app, every platform, every algorithm is designed to deliver immediate reward. The result is a generation of young men who have had very little practice in the ancient and deeply human art of waiting.

This matters more than we often acknowledge. Research consistently links the ability to delay gratification to better outcomes across almost every domain of life — academic performance, relationships, emotional regulation, financial health. But beyond the research, Scripture names self-control as a fruit of the Spirit for a reason. It's a sign that something deeper is at work in a person.

The practical opportunities to build this in your son are everywhere. It might be saving for something before spending. It might be finishing homework before entertainment. It might be holding his tongue in a conflict when every instinct is telling him to fire back.

"But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control." — Galatians 5:22-23

Every time your son chooses long-term over immediate, he is learning something profound: his impulses do not own him. That realization is one of the most quietly powerful foundations of genuine confidence.

4. Giving Him Real Responsibility

Here is something that child development research has demonstrated clearly, and that experienced parents often confirm: young people rise — or fall — to the level of what's expected of them. When we consistently communicate that a young man is capable, he tends to act capable. When we communicate — even unintentionally — that he isn't quite ready, he tends to wait.

The key word in "real responsibility" is real. Not invented, supervised-to-death responsibility. Something that actually matters. A younger son might take genuine ownership of caring for a younger sibling on a regular basis. An older teen might manage a family project, plan a week's worth of meals on a budget, or take charge of a community service commitment.

The message embedded in real responsibility is one of the most powerful things a parent can communicate: "I believe you're capable of this." That message, repeated consistently, becomes the voice your son eventually uses to talk to himself.

Notice that Jesus didn't wait until His disciples felt fully prepared before He sent them out. He gave them responsibility before they were ready and trusted that the work itself would do some of the teaching. There's wisdom in that for us as parents too.

Ask yourself honestly: Are there areas where you've been consistently doing things your son could be doing himself? Not out of laziness on his part, but because it's faster and easier for you? What would it look like to hand that responsibility back to him this week?

5. Working Hard and Earning Something

There's a particular kind of pride that comes from earning something — and it's completely different from the feeling of receiving something. A young man who has worked for what he has carries himself differently than one who has been handed everything, and most of them know it, even if they couldn't articulate why.

Hard work teaches a set of lessons that can't be learned any other way: that effort matters, that obstacles can be outlasted, and that the quality of your character often matters more than the circumstances you're working within. These are not small things. These are the foundations of a life.

When your son works hard — whether in school, in a sport, at a job, or in serving others — one of the most important things you can do is name what you see. Not just the outcome, but the effort. "I noticed you kept working on that even when it wasn't going well. That's not nothing. That's who you're becoming."

"Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters." — Colossians 3:23

Outcomes are not always within his control. Character is. Help him understand that distinction early, and he'll be able to work hard even in situations where the results aren't guaranteed — which is most of adult life.

6. Finding His Voice and Learning to Speak Truth

Many boys grow up learning, in a thousand subtle ways, that they should stay quiet. Don't make it awkward. Tell people what they want to hear. Don't be the one who says the difficult thing.

But a man without a voice is not a man who is at peace — he's a man who is afraid. And confidence cannot coexist with chronic silence about things that matter.

Part of what you're raising your son toward is the ability to speak truth with both courage and kindness — to respectfully disagree, to honestly admit a mistake, to stand up for someone being treated unfairly. These are not small skills. They are the architecture of integrity.

When your son shares his opinion, resist the urge to immediately correct him. Listen first. Ask a question. Let him think out loud.

When he shares his perspective — even if it's underdeveloped or partially wrong — resist the reflex to immediately correct him. Ask a follow-up question instead. Help him refine his thinking rather than replace it with yours. What you're really doing is teaching him that his voice has weight.

"Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." — Ephesians 4:15

Truth and love together. This is not a small combination. It's the kind of communication that requires real security — security your son will develop as he practices it with you in a safe environment.

7. Encouraging Him to Try Something New

Fear has a shrinking effect on a person's life. It's gradual and often invisible — the conversation not started, the audition not attempted, the team not tried out for. And over time, a life shaped by avoided risk becomes a smaller and smaller world.

One of the most powerful things you can do for your son is to consistently, gently push him toward the edge of his comfort zone — and then be present while he stands there. Not pushing him off a cliff. Just asking, with genuine curiosity, "What would happen if you tried?"

He won't always succeed. That's not the point. The point is the discovery that failure is survivable. That stepping out didn't destroy him. That the risk was worth taking, whatever the result. That is the soil in which genuine courage grows.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." — Joshua 1:9

Joshua wasn't told to be strong and courageous because there was nothing to fear. He was told to be strong and courageous precisely because there was. Biblical courage has never been the absence of fear — it has always been obedience in the presence of it. Teach your son that definition, and then model it for him.

8. Overhearing You Speak Well of Him

This one tends to surprise people, but it may be one of the most psychologically significant items on this list.

There is a difference between telling your son he did something well and letting him overhear you tell someone else. When you look at him and say, "Good job," he hears encouragement. When he walks around a corner and catches you telling his aunt or his coach or a family friend, "He's really been growing up. I was proud of how he handled that" — something different happens. He receives not just encouragement, but belief. And belief is a different kind of fuel entirely.

This is not flattery or performance. It's the genuine, honest practice of looking for what's true and good in your son and saying it out loud to others. Most of us are quicker to share concerns than affirmations. This is an invitation to reverse that pattern intentionally.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." — Proverbs 18:21

The words that form the atmosphere of your son's home will eventually become the words he uses to talk to himself. Make them words worth inheriting.

9. Helping Him Process Failure Well

If there is one moment on this list that may matter more than all the others, it is this one.

Failure is not a possibility in your son's future. It is a certainty. He will lose. He will make mistakes. He will be rejected, embarrassed, and disappointed. The only variable is what he learns from it — and that is largely shaped by what happens in the hours and days after the failure, and by who is with him.

Some parents instinctively rush to rescue — to fix the problem, smooth over the pain, and restore comfort as quickly as possible. Others become critical, dissecting what went wrong in a way that shames rather than teaches. Neither response gives a young man what he actually needs.

What he needs is a parent who is not panicking. Who is steady. Who communicates, through their calm and their curiosity, that this failure is not the end of his story.

Ask him questions rather than handing him answers. What happened? What would you do differently? What does this moment reveal about what you actually want? And, perhaps most importantly: What do you think God might be doing in this?

Failure is a teacher, not an identity. The goal isn't to convince him it doesn't hurt. The goal is to make sure he doesn't confuse the two.

"Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." — James 1:2-4

Peter denied Jesus three times and was still the rock on whom the church was built. Moses fled Egypt in failure and returned to lead a nation. David's greatest sins were followed by his most vulnerable and honest psalms. Failure was not the end of any of their stories — it was, in several cases, part of how God wrote the best parts.

Your son needs to know the same is true for him.

The Presence That Makes It Possible

You may have noticed that running through every one of these moments is a single, quiet thread: you. Not as a fixer. Not as a performance coach. But as a steady, safe, genuinely interested presence in your son's life.

Research on adolescent development consistently shows that the single greatest protective factor for a teenager — against depression, anxiety, risky behavior, and a host of other outcomes — is the presence of at least one consistent, warm, trustworthy adult who believes in them. For most sons, that person is a parent.

You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to have all the answers. You just have to keep showing up — in the ordinary moments, on the hard days, after the failures, and through the long and unglamorous seasons of growth that don't feel like growth at all.

The confidence your son needs most won't come from trophies or achievements or social approval. Those things come and go. Lasting confidence — the kind that holds when life gets genuinely hard — is built when a young man comes to believe three things: that he can do difficult things, that he is known and loved by a God who is for him, and that there is someone in his corner who will still be there tomorrow.

As parents, our role is not to remove the obstacles from our son's path. It's to walk beside him through them — to be a steady presence when life feels uncertain, to offer encouragement without taking over, and to remind him again and again that his value isn't found in what he accomplishes but in the God who made him.

"I have learned, in whatever state I am, to be content... I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." — Philippians 4:11, 13

Because one day, the voice your son hears in his own head will sound a lot like the voices he heard growing up.

May that voice remind him: You can do hard things. God is with you. Keep going.

If you’re parenting a teenager today, you’ve probably felt it—that quiet (or not-so-quiet) sense that something is heavier for this generation. The pressure is constant. School isn’t just school anymore; it’s performance. Friendships aren’t just friendships; they’re visible, measurable, and often compared. The future doesn’t just feel important; it can feel overwhelming.

And somewhere in the middle of all of that, anxiety has become a regular companion for many teens.

It doesn’t always show up the way we expect. Sometimes it looks like worry, but just as often it looks like irritability, withdrawal, or a lack of motivation. A teen who snaps quickly, avoids things they used to enjoy, or complains constantly of headaches or exhaustion may not be “acting out”—they may be overwhelmed. Anxiety has a way of disguising itself.

As a parent, that can leave you asking a difficult question: What do I do?

Do I step in? Do I give space? Do I push? Do I back off?

The answer, frustratingly, is often both. There will be moments when your teen needs you to step in—when their anxiety is interfering with their ability to function, when they feel stuck, or when the weight of what they’re carrying is simply too much to hold alone. And there will be other moments when what they need most is space—not distance, but breathing room. Space to process, to feel, to come back when they’re ready.

The difference isn’t always obvious, but one thing matters in both: your presence.

Even when you step back, your teen should still feel that you are near. Available. Not going anywhere.

Because what helps an anxious teen more than almost anything else is not a perfect solution—it’s a steady person.

It’s natural to want to fix things. When your child is hurting, everything in you wants to solve the problem, remove the pressure, or say the exact right thing that makes it all go away. But anxiety doesn’t usually respond to quick fixes. In fact, trying to fix everything too quickly can sometimes make it worse. It can unintentionally communicate, “This is too big. You can’t handle this.”

Instead, what helps is slower, steadier, and sometimes harder.

It looks like listening more than talking.
It looks like sitting in silence when there aren’t easy answers.
It looks like saying, “That sounds really overwhelming,” instead of, “It’s not that big of a deal.”

It’s choosing to validate the feeling without agreeing with the fear.

Because here’s what anxiety does—it tells convincing stories that aren’t always true. It speaks in what ifs and worst-case scenarios. It magnifies failure and minimizes truth. And in those moments, your teen doesn’t just need comfort—they need help finding what’s real.

This is where your role becomes incredibly important.

Not as someone who argues them out of their feelings, but as someone who gently guides them back to truth.

Scripture reminds us in Romans 12:2 to be “transformed by the renewing of your mind.” That renewal doesn’t happen all at once, and it doesn’t happen by ignoring emotions. It happens slowly, as we learn to recognize the difference between what we feel and what is true.

When your teen is overwhelmed, you can help them name what’s going on beneath the surface. You might ask, “What’s the thought that keeps coming back?” or “What feels most overwhelming right now?” And then, over time, you help them hold that thought up to the light.

Is it completely true?
Is it helpful?
What does God say that might speak into this?

You’re not forcing truth onto them—you’re helping them discover it.

And often, the truth they need most is not complicated:

They are not alone.
They are not defined by their performance.
Their future is not out of God’s hands.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you” (1 Peter 5:7) is not just a comforting verse—it’s an invitation. But for many teens, they don’t yet know how to do that. They learn it, in part, by watching you.

Which is why your response matters so much.

When anxiety rises in your teen, it will try to rise in you too. Your instinct may be to panic, to react quickly, or to take control. But your calm is one of the greatest gifts you can offer. Not a fake calm that ignores the situation—but a grounded, steady presence that says, “We’re okay. We can take this one step at a time.”

“God is not a God of disorder but of peace” (1 Corinthians 14:33). When you bring peace into chaotic moments, you reflect His character in a way your teen can feel.

That kind of environment—calm, safe, non-judgmental—is what opens the door for real conversations.

Teens are far more likely to talk when they don’t feel rushed, corrected, or lectured. They open up when they know they won’t be shut down or immediately fixed. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can do is simply stay in the conversation without trying to control it.

And sometimes, it’s just as important to notice what might be unintentionally adding to their anxiety.

Even with the best intentions, it’s easy to create pressure without realizing it. Constantly stepping in to prevent failure, overloading schedules, or communicating expectations without enough grace can send the message that there’s no room to struggle. But struggle is not the enemy—it’s often where growth begins.

James 1:2–4 reminds us that trials produce perseverance. That doesn’t mean we throw our teens into overwhelming situations—but it does mean we don’t remove every obstacle either. Learning to face challenges, fail, and try again is part of how they build resilience.

And resilience is something they will need.

So as a parent, the goal shifts.

Not to eliminate anxiety entirely.
Not to fix every problem.
But to walk with your teen as they learn to navigate it.

To be the steady presence when their emotions feel anything but steady.
To remind them of truth when their thoughts feel loud.
To create a home where they are safe to be honest, even when things are messy.

You won’t do this perfectly. There will be moments you wish you handled differently. But perfection isn’t what your teen needs.

They need you.

Consistent. Present. Willing to listen. Willing to grow alongside them.

And over time, that kind of presence becomes something incredibly powerful—it becomes the place they return to when the world feels overwhelming.

Not because you have all the answers.

But because you’ve shown them they don’t have to face it alone.

“Can I ask you something?” How did the last difficult conversation go with your kid? Hard conversations with kids can be extremely tricky. But did you know you can make or break your conversations with kids in the first 10 seconds of them?

We give our kids a “first impression” every time they come to us with a difficult question, problem, or failure. As parents, you have a great opportunity to convey patience, love, and understanding in your conversations with kids. Here are 3 reasons the first 10 seconds of any conversation with your kids are the most important.

1) The first 10 seconds communicate whether you are for or against them.

Your reaction in the first 10 seconds of a conversation tells your son or daughter whether you are a safe person to talk to. We must realize that it might have taken kids days to weeks mustering up the courage to talk to us. No matter what your kids may say, thank them for trusting you enough to share it. You can even encourage them by saying, “That must have taken courage to tell me. I’m proud of you.”

When our kids hear these statements, it nurtures trust. It’s human nature not to want to disappoint or anger someone. If, however, our kids find that we’re patient and understanding when that happens, we communicate this: “You’re not a problem, I want to understand your situation, and I want to help you.”

2) The first 10 seconds can set the conversation up for success.

Think about it: Have you ever been intimidated to talk to someone and worried about what he or she will think? Meeting our kids with patience, love, and a desire to understand in those first 10 seconds gives them confidence and allows them to speak freely. Many times kids will “test” us by only sharing what they think we want to hear or what won’t sound so bad. However, when we’re patient, we put them at ease and open up the lines of communication.

When kids ask to tell us something, our first response should be, “Always!” Then, when they begin to tell us what’s on their minds, we should use responses like, “Tell me more!” or “I’m glad you told me that. Thank you for sharing that with me.” Give your kids confidence in those first 10 seconds so they can communicate clearly and openly and you can understand their entire situation.

3) The first 10 seconds determine whether future conversations happen.

I’m very confident the vast majority of parents want their kids running to them when they have problems or mess up. They want them to believe they’re going to support and help them through whatever situation or circumstances they find themselves in. If in these first 10 seconds they have a poor experience or we convey we’re angry with them or don’t have the time for them, they may eventually think to themselves, “Yeah, they are not for me. I better get help somewhere else.” Or worse, they’ll think they can’t get help at all.

But when we remain calm and express love and care for them no matter what they tell us, they learn we’re always there for them and want them to talk to us. As parents, the desire should be to do everything you can to get your kids to run to you instead of away when they need help. Conversations with kids will be difficult from time to time, but we can instill trust and confidence and foster better communication with how we spend the first 10 seconds.

Confidence in girls is rarely built through one big conversation or a single defining moment. More often, it’s shaped quietly in the ordinary rhythms of everyday life—small moments of connection, consistency, and encouragement that add up over time. Simple interactions like shared mornings, casual conversations, and unhurried presence can become powerful opportunities to speak truth, affirmation, and security into a daughter’s heart before she ever steps into the pressures of the day.

Every day gives parents countless chances to invest in their kids and guide them toward becoming healthy, grounded adults. The good news is that this kind of intentionality doesn’t require adding more to already busy schedules. Instead, it means learning to see the moments you already have as meaningful. When we leverage the natural flow of our days and weeks, we create space for confidence to grow—confidence rooted not in performance or comparison, but rooted in who God says they are and being known, valued, and loved.  

Here are 4 everyday ways to build confidence in your daughter.

1) Make Mornings Meaningful!

Speak identity before the world does.  

Mornings are often when pressure, comparison, and expectations start to creep in. Before your daughter steps into school, sports, friendships, or social media, she needs to be reminded of who she is and whose she is. Scripture shows us the power of spoken words to shape the heart.

“The tongue has the power of life and death” - Proverbs 18:21

Just as great coaches help people see potential they don’t yet recognize, parents have the God-given role of calling out truth and identity in their children. When you speak encouragement first thing in the morning, you are helping your daughter anchor her confidence in truth rather than performance.

“Encourage one another daily…” - Hebrews 3:13

Simple, repeated affirmations—spoken with intention—help your daughter internalize values like kindness, leadership, courage, and compassion. Over time, those words become the inner voice she carries with her throughout the day.

2) Make Mealtimes Memorable

Use the table as a place for teaching and perspective. Scripture places a strong emphasis on shared meals as moments for teaching, storytelling, and faith formation. Mealtimes create natural space to listen, affirm, and guide your daughter through both successes and disappointments.

“These commandments that I give to you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home…” - Deuteronomy 6:6-7

When your daughter celebrates a win, meals are a chance to reinforce humility and gratitude. When she shares a failure, they become opportunities to teach resilience, growth, and grace.

“Though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” - Proverbs 24:16

Confidence grows when kids learn that mistakes don’t define them—and that growth often comes through perseverance. Around the table, parents can help daughters see failure as a teacher, not a verdict.

3) Don’t Waste Drivetime

Turn ordinary moments into intentional conversations. Car rides may feel routine, but Scripture reminds us that discipleship often happens “along the way.” These unguarded moments—without eye contact, distractions, or pressure—can lead to some of the most honest conversations. Drivetime gives parents a chance to listen carefully, ask thoughtful questions, and help daughters process what they’re experiencing in the world around them. When you give your daughter your full attention in these moments, you communicate that her thoughts matter. Resist the urge to solve every problem. When she feels heard, without quick advice or correction, trust grows naturally. Being heard builds confidence—and teaches her that her voice has value.

4) Be Present at Bedtime

Create space for safety, reflection, and trust. Bedtime often lowers defenses. Worries surface. Questions come out. Scripture consistently shows God as one who listens, comforts, and draws near in quiet moments.

“Cast all your anxiety on Him because He cares for you.” - 1 Peter 5:7

When parents slow down and listen at bedtime—without rushing to fix or lecture—they model emotional health and spiritual maturity. Helping your daughter process her thoughts teaches her how to process life with wisdom and confidence.

“Plans fail for lack of counsel, but with many advisers they succeed.” - Proverbs 20:18

Even when answers aren’t clear, presence builds trust. And trust is foundational to confidence. Knowing she has a safe place to land allows your daughter to face the world with greater courage.

Final Thoughts

Confidence isn’t built overnight. It’s formed through consistent presence, intentional words, and faith-filled moments woven into everyday life. When parents faithfully show up—in mornings, meals, car rides, and bedtime—they reflect the heart of a God who is always near, always speaking truth, and always inviting His children to grow.

These simple habits don’t just build confidence—they help root it in Christ, where it can truly last.

If you are looking for a more intentional way to invest in your daughter, we have an awesome opportunity coming up this March. Our Mother–Daughter Milestone Class (May 5, 12, 19, 26) is a four-week experience designed to create intentional space for mothers and daughters to grow together. Each week includes teaching, discussion, activities, and a take-home project. Topics include “What it means to be a woman”, “Following God with “all of me””, “Hormones, emotions, and identity.”

For more information or to register, click HERE.

Guiding Conversations with Children about Pornography

A Parent Guide to Starting the Conversation Now

This month’s parent resource comes from The Freedom Fight, an online ministry dedicated to helping families understand and navigate the realities of pornography in today’s culture. Their article “Guiding Conversations With Children About Pornography” offers timeless, practical guidance for parents who want to talk to their kids in a way that is informed, compassionate, and rooted in biblical truth.

Pornography is more accessible than ever, and research shows exposure often happens earlier and more frequently than many parents realize. The Freedom Fight resource helps parents frame the conversation in a way that removes shame, invites honesty, and points kids to God’s design for their lives.

What You’ll Learn in This Resource

• Why the porn conversation matters now — and why it shouldn’t be left to chance.

• How to start early by normalizing ongoing dialogue instead of a one-time “talk.”

• How to de-shame the topic so kids feel safe talking with you instead of hiding what they’ve seen.

• Ways to educate your child about the impact of pornography, including brain science and biblical teaching that make the gospel relevant to this issue.

• Practical suggestions like using age-appropriate tools to introduce concepts early and keeping the dialogue open year-after-year.

The Freedom Fight resource doesn’t just give talking points — it helps parents build a sustained conversation and equips them to guide their kids with wisdom, grace, and truth.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

👉 Access this month’s Parent Resource, based on The Freedom Fight, HERE.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Other Resources

If you would like to watch/listen our 2 day parent seminar on “Adolescence, Sexuality, and Parenting”, please send an email to jordanpearson@maplecitychapel.org and request the link to the seminar.

The seminar covers topics:

• What is the current landscape of teen culture with dating, sexuality and sex?

• Porn, the greatest drug plaguing our culture today and how parents can fight it.

• What is a biblical sexual ethic?

• How do we nurture ongoing healthy conversations with our family about sexual integrity?

Here are some other good resources and tools for parents regarding sex, purity, parenting, and their teens.

• Axis.com — A website that empowers parents to have meaningful, faith-filled conversations with their teens about sexuality, identity, and purity as well as today’s toughest cultural topics. With easy-to-use guides and weekly insights, Axis helps families stay connected, informed, and rooted in a biblical worldview.

• Axis.org/resource/a-parent-guide-to-teen-slang — A very helpful guide to “Teen slang” so you can know all the buzz words kids are using and what they mean so you don’t have to “Crash out” trying to make sense of it all.

• xxxchurch.com — x3 Watch software.

• Covenanteyes.com — Accountability & Filter. These two are sources for accountability software that also offers some filtering and blocking of sites.

• Meetcircle.com — Monitor/limit activity on all devices. This is a device that the Disney Company has come behind. With it you are able to set controls on all your home’s devices.

• Netflix/cable — Set restrictions. Pretty much every streaming and cable service has restrictions you can set. Look into these and set them.

• Phones/iPods/ipads — Parent Controls. The same is true for apple products and most smart phones where you can set limits directly. onthe device. Research these options and become aware of what can work best for your family.

• Bark.us — Bark is an online parental-control and monitoring service that helps parents keep kids safe digitally by scanning their texts, social media, emails and browsers for signs of danger (like bullying, self-harm, explicit content, or predators) and sending real-time alerts. It also offers tools for filtering websites, limiting screen time, managing apps, and even tracking location — giving parents a digital “safety net” and a way to start conversations if a red flag arises. They also have “Bark smart phones & watches” for easier monitoring and restriction setting.

A Parent Guide to Starting the Conversation Now

This month’s parent resource comes from The Freedom Fight, an online ministry dedicated to helping families understand and navigate the realities of pornography in today’s culture. Their article “Guiding Conversations With Children About Pornography” offers timeless, practical guidance for parents who want to talk to their kids in a way that is informed, compassionate, and rooted in biblical truth.

Pornography is more accessible than ever, and research shows exposure often happens earlier and more frequently than many parents realize. The Freedom Fight resource helps parents frame the conversation in a way that removes shame, invites honesty, and points kids to God’s design for their lives.

What You’ll Learn in This Resource

• Why the porn conversation matters now — and why it shouldn’t be left to chance.

• How to start early by normalizing ongoing dialogue instead of a one-time “talk.”

• How to de-shame the topic so kids feel safe talking with you instead of hiding what they’ve seen.

• Ways to educate your child about the impact of pornography, including brain science and biblical teaching that make the gospel relevant to this issue.

• Practical suggestions like using age-appropriate tools to introduce concepts early and keeping the dialogue open year-after-year.

The Freedom Fight resource doesn’t just give talking points — it helps parents build a sustained conversation and equips them to guide their kids with wisdom, grace, and truth.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

👉 Access this month’s Parent Resource, based on The Freedom Fight, HERE.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Other Resources

If you would like to watch/listen our 2 day parent seminar on “Adolescence, Sexuality, and Parenting”, please send an email to jordanpearson@maplecitychapel.org and request the link to the seminar.

The seminar covers topics:

• What is the current landscape of teen culture with dating, sexuality and sex?

• Porn, the greatest drug plaguing our culture today and how parents can fight it.

• What is a biblical sexual ethic?

• How do we nurture ongoing healthy conversations with our family about sexual integrity?

Here are some other good resources and tools for parents regarding sex, purity, parenting, and their teens.

• Axis.com — A website that empowers parents to have meaningful, faith-filled conversations with their teens about sexuality, identity, and purity as well as today’s toughest cultural topics. With easy-to-use guides and weekly insights, Axis helps families stay connected, informed, and rooted in a biblical worldview.

• Axis.org/resource/a-parent-guide-to-teen-slang — A very helpful guide to “Teen slang” so you can know all the buzz words kids are using and what they mean so you don’t have to “Crash out” trying to make sense of it all.

• xxxchurch.com — x3 Watch software.

• Covenanteyes.com — Accountability & Filter. These two are sources for accountability software that also offers some filtering and blocking of sites.

• Meetcircle.com — Monitor/limit activity on all devices. This is a device that the Disney Company has come behind. With it you are able to set controls on all your home’s devices.

• Netflix/cable — Set restrictions. Pretty much every streaming and cable service has restrictions you can set. Look into these and set them.

• Phones/iPods/ipads — Parent Controls. The same is true for apple products and most smart phones where you can set limits directly. onthe device. Research these options and become aware of what can work best for your family.

• Bark.us — Bark is an online parental-control and monitoring service that helps parents keep kids safe digitally by scanning their texts, social media, emails and browsers for signs of danger (like bullying, self-harm, explicit content, or predators) and sending real-time alerts. It also offers tools for filtering websites, limiting screen time, managing apps, and even tracking location — giving parents a digital “safety net” and a way to start conversations if a red flag arises. They also have “Bark smart phones & watches” for easier monitoring and restriction setting.

Am I Too Late to Talk With My Teenager About Sex?

A Parent Guide to Starting the Conversation Now

Let’s be honest—“the sex talk” is one of the most intimidating conversations for any parent. Many of us delay it because we think, “My kid isn’t ready yet,” or “We’ll talk about that when they’re older,” or simply because the conversation feels awkward and overwhelming.

But in today’s world, kids step into hyper-sexualized content, unfiltered digital spaces, and peer conversations long before we realize it. Suddenly parents wonder:

“Did I miss my window? Is it too late to start talking about God’s design for sex, purity, and relationships?”

The answer: No! It’s not too late.
But it is time to start.

Below are three realities every parent must understand — and the habits that will help you guide your teen wisely.

1. The Sexual World Our Teens Live In Has Changed

Students today aren’t just growing up around sexual content — they are immersed in it. Their middle and high school years are the exact season when they’re forming a sexual philosophy: what they think sex is, what it’s for, and whose voice they will trust.

And this formation is happening much earlier than most parents think. Take for example the statistic on age of first exposure to pornography. The average age of first exposure in the United States is 11 years old. This is partially impacted by the fact that children has access to technology where you don’t have to be looking for it, it finds you. And when we place supercomputers in the hands of emotionally developing, hormonally charged teenagers with low impulse control — that has changed everything.

If your student has a smart phone, he/she is living in a world with:

IMPERSONAL communication:

Texts, snaps, posts, likes, follows, streaks — all create a faux sense of connection without real relationship  

or accountability.

IMPULSIVE digital actions:

Instant access + zero processing time = quick decisions with long-term consequences.
A text, snap, or picture cannot be unsent — and many students learn that too late.

INVASIVE content access

Anything imaginable is a swipe, click, or Siri-request away.
Content comes to them — they don’t always have to go looking for it.

These realities shape your teen’s friendships, identity, self-worth, and sexuality.

What the statistics tell us

• 93% of boys and 62% of girls are exposed to porn before 18

• 15% are age 10 or younger

• 44% intentionally looked for it; 56% did not

• 70% of boys and 23% of girls have spent 30+ minutes viewing porn in one sitting

• 35% of teen boys and 14% of teen girls have done this on more than one occasion.

• 20% of 16 year olds and 30% of 17 year olds have received a sext message

• 71% of teens say they hide online activity from parents

• 90% of teens say their friend group is neutral, accepting, or encouraging about porn

• 30% of all teens reported that they had been exposed during school.

• Of those, 60% reported seeing it several times a month. 40% weekly.

Bottom line:

• It’s happening younger.

• It’s happening more often.

• It’s affecting both boys and girls.

• And silence from parents leaves culture to do the teaching.

2. Your Teen Is Thinking About Sex — More Than You Realize

Students are wondering, comparing, observing, and forming beliefs every day — whether we talk about it or not. If parents don’t speak into that space, culture will. And culture is speaking loudly!

• YouTube

• TikTok

• Friends

• Music

• Movies/TV

• School hallways

• Memes

• Pornography

• Influencers

• Culture

All those voices are teaching our students.

Because so much exposure is unintentional, parents must become intentional.

3. It’s Not Too Late — But You Can’t Wait Any Longer

Whether your student is 11 or 18, it is not too late.
You can still shape how they see:

• dating

• purity

• boundaries

• identity

• sexuality

• God’s design for relationships

But silence is no longer an option.

So what is our response?

If the average exposure is 11, that means many are exposed earlier — and often by accident. The risk of not talking outweighs the risk of talking “too early.”

If you haven’t started these conversations yet — start now.
If your kids are younger — build this into the first conversations about bodies, boundaries, and God’s design.

This is not the world we grew up in, which means our parenting cannot stay the same.

Keeping the End Goal in Focus

It is easy to lose sight of the goal in parenting.

Nearsighted parenting

When it comes to parenting teens, it’s easy to get nearsighted. You can become so focused on whatever activity or emergency is right in front of you that you forget the greater role you play as parents like Proverbs challenges us toward.

Prov 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go; ever when he is old he will not depart from it.

You can get stuck in daily chaos and lose sight of long-term formation. And I get it. Parenting teens is exasperating and exhausting. Schedules are packed. Sometimes getting to and from all the activities is the equivalent of a full-time job. Then throw. inthe hormones and impulsivity of a teen and you can easily find yourself in “parent survival more,” where you focud on just getting through each day without any major issues or explosions, losing sight of the big picture and the end goal.  

Narrow-sighted parenting

In narrow-sighted parenting, we actually do get zeroed in on a goal, but it’s the wrong one. I’ve seen this take up so many forms through the years. It often comes in the form of pushing toward athletic, academic, or social success. None of these are bad things for your kids to experience, but they aren’t the ULTIMATE goal. We focus on good — but lesser — goals (sports, grades, popularity) instead of spiritual formation.

Fear-sighted parenting

This is when parenting is entrenched in some kind of extreme worry for our kids or ourselves. Now, I think it’s important to be aware of dangers and risks out there and to practice a level of concern. But that is not what I’m talking about here. I’m talking about worry that causes us to operate in fear. When fear drives us, we will run the rick of neglect or control.

With neglect, we live with this mindset, as I heard a parent once say, “I don’t care what you do as long as it doesn’t get back to me.”

With control, we find ourselves over-parenting to the point that we leave no room for our kids to learn through their own struggles and, yes, even failures.

In know there is scary stuff out there that kids are facing. It’s great for you to want to see your kids avoid pains similar to those you have experienced, but if they do repeat those same struggles, don’t forget where you are now and that God specializes in making miracles out of messes.  

So what is the way?

What is “the way” we’re training them toward? Simply stated, I believe that way is, passionately following after Jesus. I think one of the best passages of Scripture to point us in the right direction is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9. “Here, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk to them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.”

Our ultimate goal should be to raise up kids who fall in love with God, and as Moses tells us in Deuteronomy, we are going to have to constantly remind them of this. You are going to have to instruct them on how to do this. Most importantly, you are going to have to show them what this looks like.  

The goal isn’t rule-following — it’s raising kids who love Jesus deeply and trust Him fully.

Five Habits That Help You Shepherd Your Teen In Sexual Purity

Habit 1 — Be the first voice, not the last

Even if it feels early, awkward, or uncomfortable — you need to be the one to introduce this conversation.

If your child is 3rd–4th grade or older and you haven’t had the basic “birds and bees” conversation, do it immediately. You may be holding back because you are thinking, “My son/daughter is so naive to all this,” or “I don’t want to talk about this too soon and accelerate intrigue or interest.” But the truth is, You risk far more by waiting too long than by starting too soon.

Habit 2 — Make the sex talk both physical and theological

Yes you will have to walk through the “mechanics” of everything. And yes you will probably stumble through your words and likely sweat a lot. But don’t only explain what sex is. Explain why God designed it, what it reflects about His goodness, and why it is meant to be protected and honored. In the same breath, walk through God’s purposes and parameters for sex.  

Habit 3 — Keep the conversation going

The phrase I like to say is “The talk that needs more talking” because I believe the bigger struggle in Christian homes is not the initial “Birds and Bees” talk but, instead, that we aren’t creating intentional space for healthy and meaningful ongoing conversations.

One key statement that goes a long way with this is: “You can ask me anything.” Now this statement is great for your kids to hear in general, but it’s worth emphasizing in the world of relationships, dating, and sexuality. Let them know they can come to you and you will not laugh at them or judge their curiosity but will answer their question and discuss what they should do with their newfound information.

For example, let’s say your daughter is struggling to understand why you have set the guidelines on appropriate dress. Let her know she can ask. Discuss the heart behind your guidelines. If she pushes back, tell her, “Tough luck. Not budging on this one.” I jokingly say that, but this is a tricky aspect to making sure the talk can have more talking. Talking gets old really fast when only one side is doing all the talking. If your teen comes to you with questions and you get all authoritarian spouting out commands with little room for your teen to process and share thoughts, they may choose to close the conversation door. But at the same time, there is a time and place for speaking authoritatively on this stuff with them. They need to hear, “You are part of this family, and as part of this family, this is the expectation or standard or rules we are going to live by.”

So when do you have conversation and when do you lay down the law? I don’t know. Good luck with that! Honestly, it’s in this tension where I am so grateful we have the Holy Spirit placed inside of us and that as Jesus said in John 16:13 “But when He, the Spirit of truth, comes, He will guide you into all the truth, He will not speak on His own; He will speak only what He hears, and He will tell you what is yet to come.”

As they comes with their questions, you should be affirming, caring, and confident outwardly. Inwardly, you should be screaming out to God, “Spirit of truth, give me discernment and courage in this moment. Let me know how to respond and give me the strength to do it.” And here is the awesome thing: we can trust that He will do just that!

So be approachable without abandoning your role as the parent. There are moments for open conversation — and moments to set firm boundaries. Pray for discernment. The Holy Spirit will guide you.

Habit 4 — Ask better questions

The key to asking better questions is to ask open-ended questions. Teens love giving parents one word answers. Let’s say you ask, “How was school today?” What response do you get? “Fine.” “Boring.” or just an incoherent grunt. We will have better results when our questions are framed in a way that a one word answer is not possible. Rather than asking “How was school today?” we ask, “What is one highlight from today and one lowlight?”

When is comes to asking questions about dating and sex, some of the best open-ended questions start with the statement “What do you think…”

“What do you think people at your school believe about ____?” Now, even in that question, there is the potential for a one word or very short answer. But there are easy follow up questions like, “Why do you say that?” “Why do you think that is?” “How does that influence what you believe?”

Habit 5 — Share your story wisely

A common tension for parents is how much to share with teens concerning your past struggles and failures. This becomes a hige mental battle when/if relational or sexual compromise is part of your past. But I believe that your own past victories and struggles can be a huge resource with your kids. Obviously you want to use wisdom and discernment. Here are for questions I encourage you to think through when it comes to your story.

1. What did I get right?

   Where did you succeed when it came to how you handled dating and sex? Walk through the choices and moments where you look back and say, “I’m so glad i chose this path and here’s how it has played into who I am today.” Share these experiences with your kids and steer them in the same direction.

2. What did I get wrong?

   Where did you mess up? as you concider this, how could you draw from your experiences to coach your kids in a different direction? THe trick is deciding the level of appropriate detail you will get into with your kids. That’s ultimately your decision, but I know one thing that often holds us back is the fear they will use our mistakes as an excuse to do the same. When I share out of my specific failures, this is how I usually present it. “Listen closely. This issue is a big deal to me because I got it wrong. You see, instead of _______ (whatever path you are challenging toward), I _________ (my failure to whatever detail I feel conveys what needs to be said without over sharing or overly glorifying it). Now, I’m so greatful God forgives and that He has restored me, but if I could go back to teenage me, I would warn him against the pain and hurt caused by this poor decision. But because I cannot go back in time to tell myself that, I can challenge you to not make the same mistake that I did.”

3. What was missing?

   What conversations or relationships were missing from your life that ended up hindering your ability to walk in sexual integrity? This is more for you to process so you can make sure your teen is getting whatever you didn’t.

4. What was confused?

   Where did you find yourself getting confused in the whole sex, love, and dating scene? This helps you keep perspective and increases empathy toward your kids as they walk through this journey. It also may help you think through ways to provide better clarity with your kids.  

Your victories, failures, lessons, and regrets can become a resource. Not to shame yourself—but to shepherd your child toward biblical wisdom.

Conclusion: You Still Have Influence — Use It

Is it too late to talk to your teen about sex? No. You have not missed your chance. You are not too late. And you are not alone.

Your student may be surrounded by louder voices, but your influence is still the strongest one in their life — if you choose to use it. Talking about sex doesn’t require perfection. It requires presence, honesty, consistency, and dependence on the Holy Spirit.

Start the conversation.
Keep the conversation going.
And trust that God will use your voice to guide your child toward a life of purity, wisdom, and wholehearted love for Jesus.

Other Resources

If you would like to watch/listen our 2 day parent seminar on “Adolescence, Sexuality, and Parenting”, please send an email to jordanpearson@maplecitychapel.org and request the link to the seminar.

The seminar covers topics:

• What is the current landscape of teen culture with dating, sexuality and sex?

• Porn, the greatest drug plaguing our culture today and how parents can fight it.

• What is a biblical sexual ethic?

• How do we nurture ongoing healthy conversations with our family about sexual integrity?

Here are some other good resources and tools for parents regarding sex, purity, parenting, and their teens.

• Axis.com — A website that empowers parents to have meaningful, faith-filled conversations with their teens about sexuality, identity, and purity as well as today’s toughest cultural topics. With easy-to-use guides and weekly insights, Axis helps families stay connected, informed, and rooted in a biblical worldview.

• Axis.org/resource/a-parent-guide-to-teen-slang — A very helpful guide to “Teen slang” so you can know all the buzz words kids are using and what they mean so you don’t have to “Crash out” trying to make sense of it all.

• xxxchurch.com — x3 Watch software.

• Covenanteyes.com — Accountability & Filter. These two are sources for accountability software that also offers some filtering and blocking of sites.

• Meetcircle.com — Monitor/limit activity on all devices. This is a device that the Disney Company has come behind. With it you are able to set controls on all your home’s devices.

• Netflix/cable — Set restrictions. Pretty much every streaming and cable service has restrictions you can set. Look into these and set them.

• Phones/iPods/ipads — Parent Controls. The same is true for apple products and most smart phones where you can set limits directly. onthe device. Research these options and become aware of what can work best for your family.

• Bark.us — Bark is an online parental-control and monitoring service that helps parents keep kids safe digitally by scanning their texts, social media, emails and browsers for signs of danger (like bullying, self-harm, explicit content, or predators) and sending real-time alerts. It also offers tools for filtering websites, limiting screen time, managing apps, and even tracking location — giving parents a digital “safety net” and a way to start conversations if a red flag arises. They also have “Bark smart phones & watches” for easier monitoring and restriction setting.

Parents, as your teen continues to grow in their faith, one of the greatest gifts you can give them is helping them understand what it really means to follow Jesus in their everyday life—not just on Sundays. That’s where spiritual disciplines come in.

We often think of “disciplines” as chores or rules—but in reality, spiritual disciplines are invitations. They’re ways we intentionally make space to be shaped by Jesus. Things like Worship, Silence & Solitude, Reading and Studying Scripture, Serving, Prayer, and Evangelism are all spiritual habits that help us focus our hearts on God and grow in spiritual maturity.

Think of it this way: no one drifts into spiritual growth by accident. Just like athletes train to build strength and musicians practice to improve their craft, followers of Jesus train their hearts through spiritual disciplines.

These practices aren’t about earning God’s love—they’re about responding to it. We don’t do them to get God’s attention; we do them because He already has ours.

We pray these videos will spark healthy conversation and greater dedication to discipleship and spiritual formation in your home!

Worship - Click here to watch

Silence & Solitude - Click here to watch

Reading & Studying Scripture - Click here to watch

Serving -  Click here to watch

Prayer - Click here to watch

Evangelism - Click here to watch

How to Help Your Teen Develop Spiritual Disciplines

Building spiritual disciplines isn’t about adding more to your teen’s already busy schedule—it’s about helping them invite Jesus into what they’re already doing. Here are some simple ways to help your teen grow these habits naturally:

1. Model It Before You Mentor It

Teens are watching more than they’re listening. Let them see you pray, open your Bible, serve others, and take time to rest. When faith is visible in your home, it becomes believable to them.

2. Start Small and Stay Consistent

Encourage your teen to start with short, manageable practices—like reading one Psalm a day, praying for a friend, or journaling once a week. Consistency matters more than perfection.

3. Connect Habits to What They Already Love

If your teen loves music—talk about worship. If they’re into sports—connect discipline and training to spiritual growth. Help them see how every part of life can point to Jesus.

4. Create Spiritual “Moments” at Home

Turn ordinary family moments into opportunities to grow faith—pray before school, talk about what they learned at youth group, or share where you’ve seen God at work that week.

5. Celebrate Growth, Not Just Results

When your teen makes an effort—celebrate it! Affirm their progress and remind them that growth takes time. Avoid turning spiritual disciplines into checklists.

6. Be Patient—Transformation Takes Time

Spiritual maturity doesn’t happen overnight. Encourage your teen to keep showing up even when it feels dry or hard. God does His best work in the quiet, consistent moments of obedience.

Parents, you are the primary faith influencer in your home. You don’t have to be perfect—you just have to be present. Every time you point your teen toward Jesus, you’re helping them build a lifelong foundation of faith that will carry them into adulthood.

Parents, do you find yourself in the “How was your day?” -> “Fine” cycle? If so, you are not alone. Getting students to open up beyond the one word answers is (and has been) a struggle for many. So this month we want to help you get beyond the “yes & no’s” and get to the life giving conversations that go deeper than the surface level. And to do so, we want to help you in the art of asking better questions.

1) Change HOW you ask

Instead of asking yes/no questions, try asking open-ended questions that invite more stories, feelings and reflection.

❌ Don’t ask “Did you have a good day?”

✅ Ask “What was the best part of your day?”

✅ Or ask “What’s something that made you laugh today?”

“Tell me one thing you learned today!”

2) Ask about feelings, not just facts

Help your student move beyond what happened to how they experienced it.

“How did that make you feel?”

“What was the hardest part of today”

“What are you most proud of yourself for this week?”

3) Get Specific

The more specific the question, the less room there is for one-word answers.

“Who did you sit with as lunch today”

“What’s one thing that surprised you today?”

“What was the funniest thing that happened in class?”

4) Use conversation starters

Here are a few fun questions to keep in your back pocket for drives, dinners, or downtime.

“If you could swap places with one person for a day, who would it be? Why?”

“What is your go-to hype song right now?”

“If your small class had to survive on a deserted island, who would be in charge of what?”

“What’s one thing you wish adults understood better about teens?”

“If you could redo one part of today, what would it be?”

“Who did you spend the most time with today?”

“If today was a playlist, what songs would be on it?”

5) Go deeper over time

Not every conversation will be deep—and that’s ok! Keep planting seeds by occasionally asking bigger faith and life questions:

“Where have you seen God at work in your life lately?”

“What’s been challenging about following Jesus at school?”

“If you could ask God one question right now, what would it be?”

“Who do you look up to most in your faith, and why?”

“What do you wish more people understood about you?”

6) Listen more than you talk

Sometimes the best “question” is simply silence after your teen shares. Don’t rush to fix or respond—just listen and let them know you value their voice.

Now these things are not going to instantainiunly transform your kids into little chatterboxes. You very well might still get the grunts, shoulder shrugs, or the “I don’t know” responses most of the time. But if you are consistent and changing the approach of how you ask questions, you just might get those awesome moments where you get to see a little deeper into your students life. But remember, sometimes better questions isn’t about prying—it’s about showing your teen you care about what’s happening in their heart, not just their schedule. Be patient. Be curious. And remember, even short answers are steps towards deeper trust.

We can probably agree that sports teach kids valuable lessons in leadership, teamwork, and hard work. As parents, you have the privilege of helping your kids navigate disappointment, rejection, and celebration.

We may know that but let’s BE REAL…watching kids play sports can be a roller coaster of emotions—exciting and rewarding, yet nerve-wracking, exhausting and sometimes frustrating. Especially if you are a former athlete.

Regardless of your own athletic ability, as parents, we need to recognize any unhealthy emotional attachments to our kid’s performance, causing a struggle to keep the bigger picture in mind. It is easy to lose sight of the Gospel and forget that life lessons are more important than wins, points, or breaking records.

Learning to parent an athlete takes intentionality and lots of patience! As parents, your role is NOT to be the coach (unless we coach our kids team) but to bless and guide your children toward a higher, God-given purpose. Don’t miss the chance to nurture growth through these experiences. We pray this playbook helps your family grow!

This playbook includes:

• 5 Gospel Centered “Plays” for Parenting Your Athlete

• Building Healthy Conversation With Your Athlete

• 10 Tips for Being a Gospel-Centered Spectator

• Identity in Christ Statements for Athletes

• Our Family Athletic Commitment (sample & blank)

To download the parent playbook, click HERE

The Summer Guide is designed to help you intentionally lead your family in consistent and meaningful discipleship conversations. Whether this is your first time leading your family in discipleship or you have been doing it for years, we pray this resource sparks meaningful connections as you grow in your understanding of God’s love and faithfulness toward your family. A family discipleship plan helps everyone in the family move in the same direction. A plan provides a framework to instill habits and teach with purpose while building a foundation for future discipleship. A plan also provides accountability. The ultimate goal is to lead our children to grow in their desire to respond to God’s love, purposes and plans for their lives. Use the simple Family Discipleship Planner to be intentional about discipleship with your family this summer!

Download & Get Started

Choose from the options below to download the full guide or individual/blank resources from the guide.

For the complete and full guide, Click HERE

For a 6 week reading plan through the book of 1 Timothy, click HERE

For a summer activity guide, click HERE

For ways to help build habits for growth, click HERE

In the average home, we find a lot of tools to keep those homes safe. We install alarm systems, multiple locks, and cameras in hopes to protect the ones we love. However, are we making our homes safe for our kids to face doubts and fears and ask hard questions? In other words, are you making your home a safe place for hard conversations?

Can your kids come into your house knowing that no matter what they do or say, you will love them? We want our kids to come to us on their best days and their worst. In order to create a safe home, we must create a culture of safety. Here are 5 ways to create a safe home for hard conversations.

1. Be prepared.

It’s one thing to say you want to be safe and it’s another to actually be safe. Prove it by how you interact in the everyday stuff of life and let your kids know they can come to you with anything. The best way to be prepared is to work out scenarios in your head and think about what you will do if… For example, “If my kids come to me with (fill in the blank), I will respond by (fill in the blank).” Thinking through potential scenarios is not being paranoid; it’s being prepared.

2. Use repetition.

When teaching and training our children, we must be good at repetition. If we want to provide a safe place for our kids to come to us for anything, we must practice repetition. When is the last time you told your kids that you want them to know that no matter what, they can talk to you about anything? Don’t just say it once; repeat it over and over. Keeping that bug in their ear tells your kids that you are safe and they can run to you on their worst and best days.

3. Resolve conflicts.

Too many adults in our world struggle to express their feelings because they were never allowed to do so growing up. That’s what happens when you’re raised by people who don’t do conflict resolution. So create a home where your kids know conflict is a normal part of relationships and that working through it is actually better than avoiding it. Create a home where the resolution of conflict is a priority. Be willing to work through hard situations for healthy resolutions.

4. Give your kids freedom.

You must have rules and regulations in your home along with consequences. These rules actually make your kids feel safe because it gives them parameters to work within. Freedom doesn’t mean chaos. Freedom means your children must know that they have the freedom to ask mom and dad anything and the freedom to wrestle with hard questions and doubts without being belittled for bringing up the subjects. If you shut down freedom, your kids will not come to you. If you say, “We don’t talk about that in this house,” you have put chains on all other conversations in the future.

5. Love with words and actions.

This is the most important. All parents would say they love their kids. Some are better with their words and actions than others, but we do love them. One of the greatest ways to cultivate safety in your home is for your kids to know that you love them no matter what. So show your love to them without attaching it to performance. Show your love to them without expecting anything in return.

Sexual Purity Discussion Guide

A study of the Scriptures reveals that sexuality in the context of marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given to humanity. Sadly, the perversions of the topic that are so prevalent in our culture have caused many in the Church today to see sex as a taboo topic that is almost seen as off-limits to discuss.  What a sad commentary, when Satan steals from the family one of God’s most precious gifts!  No wonder Jesus calls him a thief.  As a result of this distortion, far too many – perhaps even a majority – of parents never talk about sexual topics with their children.

Awkward Roadblocks

From my vantage point as a pastor, most parents desire to talk to their children about these important things, but the conversations are stolen in a subtle way:

• When the children are younger, moms and dads feel uncomfortable with the subject because they fear it will come too soon.

• When the children are entering adolescence, moms and dads feel uncomfortable because they realize how awkward such talks will be – especially in the midst of their child’s already changing body and overall transition of life from a child to a young adult.

• When the child is in his or her teen years, moms and dads feel strange having waited so long – fully aware that their child has figured out many of the details about sex from friends and the media.

As a result, conversations never happen.  Then, when sexual topics are brought up at all, they are discussed only in the context of humor or scandal.  What a tragedy.

Just Start

When is the best time to talk with your child about sexuality?  Right now. Regardless of their age, it is time to start the conversation.  I’ve found through my ministry and interesting principle to hold true: If a child hears information on the subject of sex from someone other than the parents first, the parents often end up having to deprogram what they’ve heard before they can share with them the simple truth.  As parents, we want to be proactive in insuring our children are equipped with God’s plan in case they come across a lie.

Of course, the depth of that conversation will depend on the age of your child.  Consider the following conversational guides related to three stages of maturity.  Notice I did not categorize them with hard-and-fast ages, as different children will be prepared for different levels of dialogue, and only you as a parent can know these things:

1. Early Conversations for the Young:

Just because a child is not prepared to hear about the details of the marriage bed does not mean that they are not ready to talk about sexuality.  In fact, your child is growing up in a world that will be sending sexual messages anyway, and you want to be the one to share the truth.  At this stage, it is important to focus on principles rather than actions.  Help your child understand what it means that God is holy, and how He has called us to reflect that holiness.  I would recommend that the following topics are covered:

• God’s plan for marriage is for a man and woman who are devoted to one another for life. (It is important to note that, for many children, there will be people they care about who did not stay together for life.  This doesn’t mean God doesn’t love them.  God can help people who did not follow that plan to live according to His best plans from that point forward.)

• Sex is a part of God’s plan for marriage.  If you feel like the timing is not appropriate to explain the details of sexuality, I would still recommend that you help them understand that sexuality is a gift from God.  When they begin to hear about sex from peers or media, we want them to understand that God has a standard that is better than what the world has to offer.  A simple, non-detailed definition of sex is an act of love between a husband and wife that also helps them have children.

CONSIDER SAYING: “You don’t need to understand everything about this at your age.  There are some subjects that you will have plenty of time to understand later on.  But right now, whenever you hear the word sex, you need to know that it is something beautiful that God has created for a man and woman who are married to one another.  Of course, like so many other things, the devil has taken sex and made it something that is not what God intended.  So some people do things with God’s gift that don’t have anything to do with marriage.  If you ever hear someone talking about sex, I want you to come talk to me first and let’s make sure what you are hearing is what God has told us in the Bible.”

• Just as God is holy, He wants us to live holy lives. That means, when it comes to our bodies, we also make sure that we protect them for God’s glory.  That means we don’t live as the world does or do anything we want to just because it feels good or others are doing it.

• Pornography is a terrible thing that does not reflect God’s holiness. Pornography is a bad part of our culture in which people allow others to see them naked and do things that shouldn’t be done with their bodies, or things that should only be done by a husband or wife.

CONSIDER SAYING: “Pornography is one way that people disobey God.  They sin by exposing their bodies to others to whom they are not married.  Other than when your mom and dad need to help you, or a doctor needs to help you, there is no place when you should be naked in front of anyone else until you are married.  If anyone ever wants to show you pictures of someone without their clothes on, say no and tell me right away.”

2. Deeper Conversations for the Growing and Contemplative Child:

As your child has more access to peers and others beyond your influence, it becomes more essential to equip him or her with the truth of God’s word related to sexuality. As God leads you, ensure that your child has an understanding of the following:

• The Act of Marriage.  This may seem like a daunting task, but don’t forget that sex is a gift from God.  Your child deserves to hear about it from someone who will share the details in a way that is God-honoring!  Set aside a specific time to get away with your child for this important conversation.  Don’t just do it off-the-cuff, in a ‘by the way” fashion, but help them to see its importance by the priority you place.  Set a special time to go to a park together, or allow space where everyone else in the family leaves so it is just you and the child.  This eliminates any unnecessary awkwardness or embarrassment.

Begin at creation, by sharing God’s original intent for husbands and wives. Genesis 2:24-25 states, [24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [25] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (ESV)    That phrase “one flesh” is a beautiful picture of sexuality as God intended.

Share the basics of what happens, and pause often to invite questions.  Consider utilizing some great books on the topic if you would like a guide.

• The Sanctity of Marriage.  Every conversation about sex should be shared amidst the topic of the beauty of marriage – the precious relationship that God has set apart for a husband and wife.  It should be held in high esteem –  seen as something beautiful and blessed.  Marriage is more than sexuality, and the topic of sexuality will always be incomplete and less than intended outside of the bigger, profound picture of marriage.

3. Practical Conversations for the Emerging Adult:

Beyond “the sex talk,” parents must maintain a constant dialogue about sex and marriage.  There are too many other sexually-charged messages in our culture that won’t be silent. You don’t want to send the message “Well, thank goodness we got that over with!”  Consider the following ongoing opportunities:

• “What If” Scenarios: Describing a fictional but realistic challenge to your child before it is really encountered is a great way to evaluate real-life solutions to complex problems.  For example, something like, “A young man and woman are in love and would one day love to be married. In the heat of passion, they both desire to carry their relationship into an area that is reserved for a husband and wife.  He says to her, ‘We plan to be married anyway!’  What is wrong with this logic?  What should they do?”

• Spend Time Unpacking the Three Questions Related to Sexual Matters. Who is God? What is True?; and Why am I Here?  Of the three, we tend to focus on the second when it comes to sexuality: “You shouldn’t have sex until you are married because God says it’s wrong.” That is absolutely the case, but it is a deeper, broader conversation when it begins with question one: “Because God is holy, He has called us to holiness.  In fact, He created marriage as a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church and the Church’s love back to Jesus. Therefore, I need to consider every area of my heart – including the act of sex – that might be less than the heart of holiness to which God has called me.”

• Pray for Future Spouses Together. The best way to get our eyes off of the compromise that the world has to offer is to focus on the beautiful standard that we should be looking toward.  Pray often for the future spouse of your child, and challenge him or her often to consider what traits would be found in the ideal mate.

Parent Resource:

3 Immediate Steps to Take When Your Teen is Hurting

Parents often ask for help on how to support their teen during challenging times. The reality is that every teen will eventually face disappointment, loss, or hurt. Whether it’s not making the team they trained so hard for, going through a breakup, or missing out on an opportunity they hoped for, these moments can be tough for both teens and parents. As the parents, you naturally feel their pain and want to fix it immediately. While that instinct is understandable, here are three important steps to consider when your teen is hurting:

1) Pause

This may seem counterintuitive, but the first step to take when your child is going through a difficult situation is to actually step back and pause. The reason this is important is because you’re probably going to have some emotions tied in with your teens’ emotions. Do not let your emotions lead! Alicia Britt Chole says “emotions make terrible leaders.” You may need to take a 10-minute or 10-hour pause to let your emotions get in check and think through the long-term lesson or goal you want to achieve in helping your son or daughter through this challenge. We face tremendous disappointment even in our adult years, so what is it that you want to equip your teen with so they are prepared for those moments as an adult? Fixing every situation for your teen will only delay the inevitable and cause them more struggle as they get older.

2) Provide wisdom and guidance  

As primary faith trainers, your kids look to you and how you respond to their struggles and hurts. We can certainly empathize with our teens when they are hurting, but we have to be able to lead them through the struggles. This is where true parenting and faith development is demonstrated and shown. The biggest mistake I see parents of teens make is running in to attempt to “fix” whatever issue their teens are having. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but resist this temptation. This is why the first step, pausing to widen your view is so important.

3) Pray and trust

Growing up my parents prayed regularly (and still do) for my brother and I. They entrusted us – our whole lives, victories and disappointments – to God. If you want to truly minister to your kids when they have disappointments and struggles, don’t just pause and gain perspective, don’t just offer great insights and wisdom through their situation, but let them hear you pray for them. Pray continually with your teen through whatever challenge they are facing and demonstrate your faith in Jesus to guide them. You can’t keep your kids from every hurt that life brings but you do have the responsibility and privilege of leading them to a God who sees and knows them even better than you do.

Parent Resourse: 3 STRATEGIES FOR RAISEING KIND KIDS

In a world full of hostility and division, we should raise kind kids who love not only those in our homes but also the world around them. Kindness is high on my list of characteristics I value but sadly in our culture today, it is one that I see on the decline. Raising kind kids takes effort and intentionality but the investment of time and energy is worth it.

We need to help kids see that there’s a significant difference between kindness and being nice. Anyone, even those who may not always be pleasant, can put on a nice act from time to time. Being nice is often about seeking social approval, about acting a certain way for personal gain in specific situations. However, kindness is a deeper, more genuine form of care. It’s about the other person, about seeing them the way God sees them. It’s about sharing love, grace, and empathy without expecting anything in return. 

Here are three strategies for raising kind kids:

1. Model Kind Behavior

Children learn a lot by observing the adults around them. They learn the most from mom and dad. As parents, we must set the example and demonstrate kindness in our daily actions. This can include:

• Helping Others: Show your kids how you assist neighbors, friends, or even strangers. This might be through volunteering, donating to those in need, or simply being polite and respectful in everyday interactions.

• Speaking Kindly: Use positive and encouraging language, and refrain from gossiping or talking negatively about others. Explain why it’s important to be considerate with words.

• Showing Gratitude: Express thankfulness for small acts of kindness you receive. Make a habit of saying “thank you” and encourage your children to do the same.

Paul tells us in Ephesians how to model kindness.

Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4:31-32).

2. Teach Empathy

This might be a big word for your kids but it’s a powerful tool. Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings and emotions. It involves recognizing someone else’s emotional state, imagining how they might be feeling, and responding with care and concern. Empathy goes beyond sympathy (feeling pity or sorrow for someone’s misfortune) by incorporating a deeper connection to the other person’s experience.

• Talk About Emotions: Have open discussions about feelings. Ask your children how they felt in various situations and how they think others might have felt. This helps them recognize and respect different emotions.

• Share Stories: Read books, watch movies, or share things from your day that highlight empathy, kindness, and moral dilemmas. Discuss the characters’ emotions and actions and ask your children how they would respond in similar situations.

• Examine Perspectives: Encourage your children to consider other people’s perspectives. When conflicts arise, help them see things from the other person’s point of view and discuss how to resolve the issue with kindness.

3. Create Opportunities for Kindness

Put kindness into practice and help your kids see and feel it in real-life situations. We can’t effectively teach anything without practicing what we are preaching. Again, we must lead the way when we give them opportunities.

• Give Them Responsibilities: Assign tasks that involve helping others, like setting the table, helping a sibling with homework, or taking care of a pet. Emphasize the importance of contributing to the family and helping each other.

• Serve Others: Participate in service projects as a family. Volunteering at a shelter, participating in a charity run, or collecting donations for a cause teaches children the value of giving back to the community.

• Encourage Random Acts of Kindness: Motivate your children to perform small, spontaneous acts of kindness, like sharing toys, complimenting others, or writing thank-you notes. Recognize and praise their efforts to reinforce positive behavior.

Let’s Be Kind Together

When was the last time you modeled kindness for your kids?

Can you think of a time when you should have modeled kindness and you didn’t?

Share that with your family and tell them how you could have handled the situation in a kind way.

Do you have open discussions about emotions with your kids? 

If not, in the next week try to begin opening the door to chatting about emotions, empathy and feelings. Activity: Go watch Inside Out 1 and/or Inside Out 2 together as a family - it’s a great discussion starter!

When is the last time you served or did a random act of kindness as a family? 

Now is a great time to start! Try scheduling a service project within the next month.

In a world where you can be anything, BE KIND!

Latest Parent Newsletter

- Archived Newsletters (Best if viewed on desktop/laptop)

Latest Parent Resources

- Archived Resources (Best if viewed on desktop/laptop)

Calendar

Events