The Summer Guide is designed to help you intentionally lead your family in consistent and meaningful discipleship conversations. Whether this is your first time leading your family in discipleship or you have been doing it for years, we pray this resource sparks meaningful connections as you grow in your understanding of God’s love and faithfulness toward your family. A family discipleship plan helps everyone in the family move in the same direction. A plan provides a framework to instill habits and teach with purpose while building a foundation for future discipleship. A plan also provides accountability. The ultimate goal is to lead our children to grow in their desire to respond to God’s love, purposes and plans for their lives. Use the simple Family Discipleship Planner to be intentional about discipleship with your family this summer!

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Choose from the options below to download the full guide or individual/blank resources from the guide.

For the complete and full guide, Click HERE

For a 6 week reading plan through the book of 1 Timothy, click HERE

For a summer activity guide, click HERE

For ways to help build habits for growth, click HERE

In the average home, we find a lot of tools to keep those homes safe. We install alarm systems, multiple locks, and cameras in hopes to protect the ones we love. However, are we making our homes safe for our kids to face doubts and fears and ask hard questions? In other words, are you making your home a safe place for hard conversations?

Can your kids come into your house knowing that no matter what they do or say, you will love them? We want our kids to come to us on their best days and their worst. In order to create a safe home, we must create a culture of safety. Here are 5 ways to create a safe home for hard conversations.

1. Be prepared.

It’s one thing to say you want to be safe and it’s another to actually be safe. Prove it by how you interact in the everyday stuff of life and let your kids know they can come to you with anything. The best way to be prepared is to work out scenarios in your head and think about what you will do if… For example, “If my kids come to me with (fill in the blank), I will respond by (fill in the blank).” Thinking through potential scenarios is not being paranoid; it’s being prepared.

2. Use repetition.

When teaching and training our children, we must be good at repetition. If we want to provide a safe place for our kids to come to us for anything, we must practice repetition. When is the last time you told your kids that you want them to know that no matter what, they can talk to you about anything? Don’t just say it once; repeat it over and over. Keeping that bug in their ear tells your kids that you are safe and they can run to you on their worst and best days.

3. Resolve conflicts.

Too many adults in our world struggle to express their feelings because they were never allowed to do so growing up. That’s what happens when you’re raised by people who don’t do conflict resolution. So create a home where your kids know conflict is a normal part of relationships and that working through it is actually better than avoiding it. Create a home where the resolution of conflict is a priority. Be willing to work through hard situations for healthy resolutions.

4. Give your kids freedom.

You must have rules and regulations in your home along with consequences. These rules actually make your kids feel safe because it gives them parameters to work within. Freedom doesn’t mean chaos. Freedom means your children must know that they have the freedom to ask mom and dad anything and the freedom to wrestle with hard questions and doubts without being belittled for bringing up the subjects. If you shut down freedom, your kids will not come to you. If you say, “We don’t talk about that in this house,” you have put chains on all other conversations in the future.

5. Love with words and actions.

This is the most important. All parents would say they love their kids. Some are better with their words and actions than others, but we do love them. One of the greatest ways to cultivate safety in your home is for your kids to know that you love them no matter what. So show your love to them without attaching it to performance. Show your love to them without expecting anything in return.

Sexual Purity Discussion Guide

A study of the Scriptures reveals that sexuality in the context of marriage is one of the most beautiful gifts God has given to humanity. Sadly, the perversions of the topic that are so prevalent in our culture have caused many in the Church today to see sex as a taboo topic that is almost seen as off-limits to discuss.  What a sad commentary, when Satan steals from the family one of God’s most precious gifts!  No wonder Jesus calls him a thief.  As a result of this distortion, far too many – perhaps even a majority – of parents never talk about sexual topics with their children.

Awkward Roadblocks

From my vantage point as a pastor, most parents desire to talk to their children about these important things, but the conversations are stolen in a subtle way:

• When the children are younger, moms and dads feel uncomfortable with the subject because they fear it will come too soon.

• When the children are entering adolescence, moms and dads feel uncomfortable because they realize how awkward such talks will be – especially in the midst of their child’s already changing body and overall transition of life from a child to a young adult.

• When the child is in his or her teen years, moms and dads feel strange having waited so long – fully aware that their child has figured out many of the details about sex from friends and the media.

As a result, conversations never happen.  Then, when sexual topics are brought up at all, they are discussed only in the context of humor or scandal.  What a tragedy.

Just Start

When is the best time to talk with your child about sexuality?  Right now. Regardless of their age, it is time to start the conversation.  I’ve found through my ministry and interesting principle to hold true: If a child hears information on the subject of sex from someone other than the parents first, the parents often end up having to deprogram what they’ve heard before they can share with them the simple truth.  As parents, we want to be proactive in insuring our children are equipped with God’s plan in case they come across a lie.

Of course, the depth of that conversation will depend on the age of your child.  Consider the following conversational guides related to three stages of maturity.  Notice I did not categorize them with hard-and-fast ages, as different children will be prepared for different levels of dialogue, and only you as a parent can know these things:

1. Early Conversations for the Young:

Just because a child is not prepared to hear about the details of the marriage bed does not mean that they are not ready to talk about sexuality.  In fact, your child is growing up in a world that will be sending sexual messages anyway, and you want to be the one to share the truth.  At this stage, it is important to focus on principles rather than actions.  Help your child understand what it means that God is holy, and how He has called us to reflect that holiness.  I would recommend that the following topics are covered:

• God’s plan for marriage is for a man and woman who are devoted to one another for life. (It is important to note that, for many children, there will be people they care about who did not stay together for life.  This doesn’t mean God doesn’t love them.  God can help people who did not follow that plan to live according to His best plans from that point forward.)

• Sex is a part of God’s plan for marriage.  If you feel like the timing is not appropriate to explain the details of sexuality, I would still recommend that you help them understand that sexuality is a gift from God.  When they begin to hear about sex from peers or media, we want them to understand that God has a standard that is better than what the world has to offer.  A simple, non-detailed definition of sex is an act of love between a husband and wife that also helps them have children.

CONSIDER SAYING: “You don’t need to understand everything about this at your age.  There are some subjects that you will have plenty of time to understand later on.  But right now, whenever you hear the word sex, you need to know that it is something beautiful that God has created for a man and woman who are married to one another.  Of course, like so many other things, the devil has taken sex and made it something that is not what God intended.  So some people do things with God’s gift that don’t have anything to do with marriage.  If you ever hear someone talking about sex, I want you to come talk to me first and let’s make sure what you are hearing is what God has told us in the Bible.”

• Just as God is holy, He wants us to live holy lives. That means, when it comes to our bodies, we also make sure that we protect them for God’s glory.  That means we don’t live as the world does or do anything we want to just because it feels good or others are doing it.

• Pornography is a terrible thing that does not reflect God’s holiness. Pornography is a bad part of our culture in which people allow others to see them naked and do things that shouldn’t be done with their bodies, or things that should only be done by a husband or wife.

CONSIDER SAYING: “Pornography is one way that people disobey God.  They sin by exposing their bodies to others to whom they are not married.  Other than when your mom and dad need to help you, or a doctor needs to help you, there is no place when you should be naked in front of anyone else until you are married.  If anyone ever wants to show you pictures of someone without their clothes on, say no and tell me right away.”

2. Deeper Conversations for the Growing and Contemplative Child:

As your child has more access to peers and others beyond your influence, it becomes more essential to equip him or her with the truth of God’s word related to sexuality. As God leads you, ensure that your child has an understanding of the following:

• The Act of Marriage.  This may seem like a daunting task, but don’t forget that sex is a gift from God.  Your child deserves to hear about it from someone who will share the details in a way that is God-honoring!  Set aside a specific time to get away with your child for this important conversation.  Don’t just do it off-the-cuff, in a ‘by the way” fashion, but help them to see its importance by the priority you place.  Set a special time to go to a park together, or allow space where everyone else in the family leaves so it is just you and the child.  This eliminates any unnecessary awkwardness or embarrassment.

Begin at creation, by sharing God’s original intent for husbands and wives. Genesis 2:24-25 states, [24] Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. [25] And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. (ESV)    That phrase “one flesh” is a beautiful picture of sexuality as God intended.

Share the basics of what happens, and pause often to invite questions.  Consider utilizing some great books on the topic if you would like a guide.

• The Sanctity of Marriage.  Every conversation about sex should be shared amidst the topic of the beauty of marriage – the precious relationship that God has set apart for a husband and wife.  It should be held in high esteem –  seen as something beautiful and blessed.  Marriage is more than sexuality, and the topic of sexuality will always be incomplete and less than intended outside of the bigger, profound picture of marriage.

3. Practical Conversations for the Emerging Adult:

Beyond “the sex talk,” parents must maintain a constant dialogue about sex and marriage.  There are too many other sexually-charged messages in our culture that won’t be silent. You don’t want to send the message “Well, thank goodness we got that over with!”  Consider the following ongoing opportunities:

• “What If” Scenarios: Describing a fictional but realistic challenge to your child before it is really encountered is a great way to evaluate real-life solutions to complex problems.  For example, something like, “A young man and woman are in love and would one day love to be married. In the heat of passion, they both desire to carry their relationship into an area that is reserved for a husband and wife.  He says to her, ‘We plan to be married anyway!’  What is wrong with this logic?  What should they do?”

• Spend Time Unpacking the Three Questions Related to Sexual Matters. Who is God? What is True?; and Why am I Here?  Of the three, we tend to focus on the second when it comes to sexuality: “You shouldn’t have sex until you are married because God says it’s wrong.” That is absolutely the case, but it is a deeper, broader conversation when it begins with question one: “Because God is holy, He has called us to holiness.  In fact, He created marriage as a reflection of Christ’s love for the Church and the Church’s love back to Jesus. Therefore, I need to consider every area of my heart – including the act of sex – that might be less than the heart of holiness to which God has called me.”

• Pray for Future Spouses Together. The best way to get our eyes off of the compromise that the world has to offer is to focus on the beautiful standard that we should be looking toward.  Pray often for the future spouse of your child, and challenge him or her often to consider what traits would be found in the ideal mate.

Parent Resource:

3 Immediate Steps to Take When Your Teen is Hurting

Parents often ask for help on how to support their teen during challenging times. The reality is that every teen will eventually face disappointment, loss, or hurt. Whether it’s not making the team they trained so hard for, going through a breakup, or missing out on an opportunity they hoped for, these moments can be tough for both teens and parents. As the parents, you naturally feel their pain and want to fix it immediately. While that instinct is understandable, here are three important steps to consider when your teen is hurting:

1) Pause

This may seem counterintuitive, but the first step to take when your child is going through a difficult situation is to actually step back and pause. The reason this is important is because you’re probably going to have some emotions tied in with your teens’ emotions. Do not let your emotions lead! Alicia Britt Chole says “emotions make terrible leaders.” You may need to take a 10-minute or 10-hour pause to let your emotions get in check and think through the long-term lesson or goal you want to achieve in helping your son or daughter through this challenge. We face tremendous disappointment even in our adult years, so what is it that you want to equip your teen with so they are prepared for those moments as an adult? Fixing every situation for your teen will only delay the inevitable and cause them more struggle as they get older.

2) Provide wisdom and guidance  

As primary faith trainers, your kids look to you and how you respond to their struggles and hurts. We can certainly empathize with our teens when they are hurting, but we have to be able to lead them through the struggles. This is where true parenting and faith development is demonstrated and shown. The biggest mistake I see parents of teens make is running in to attempt to “fix” whatever issue their teens are having. Of course there are exceptions to the rule, but resist this temptation. This is why the first step, pausing to widen your view is so important.

3) Pray and trust

Growing up my parents prayed regularly (and still do) for my brother and I. They entrusted us – our whole lives, victories and disappointments – to God. If you want to truly minister to your kids when they have disappointments and struggles, don’t just pause and gain perspective, don’t just offer great insights and wisdom through their situation, but let them hear you pray for them. Pray continually with your teen through whatever challenge they are facing and demonstrate your faith in Jesus to guide them. You can’t keep your kids from every hurt that life brings but you do have the responsibility and privilege of leading them to a God who sees and knows them even better than you do.

Parent Resourse: 3 STRATEGIES FOR RAISEING KIND KIDS

In a world full of hostility and division, we should raise kind kids who love not only those in our homes but also the world around them. Kindness is high on my list of characteristics I value but sadly in our culture today, it is one that I see on the decline. Raising kind kids takes effort and intentionality but the investment of time and energy is worth it.

We need to help kids see that there’s a significant difference between kindness and being nice. Anyone, even those who may not always be pleasant, can put on a nice act from time to time. Being nice is often about seeking social approval, about acting a certain way for personal gain in specific situations. However, kindness is a deeper, more genuine form of care. It’s about the other person, about seeing them the way God sees them. It’s about sharing love, grace, and empathy without expecting anything in return. 

Here are three strategies for raising kind kids:

1. Model Kind Behavior

Children learn a lot by observing the adults around them. They learn the most from mom and dad. As parents, we must set the example and demonstrate kindness in our daily actions. This can include:

• Helping Others: Show your kids how you assist neighbors, friends, or even strangers. This might be through volunteering, donating to those in need, or simply being polite and respectful in everyday interactions.

• Speaking Kindly: Use positive and encouraging language, and refrain from gossiping or talking negatively about others. Explain why it’s important to be considerate with words.

• Showing Gratitude: Express thankfulness for small acts of kindness you receive. Make a habit of saying “thank you” and encourage your children to do the same.

Paul tells us in Ephesians how to model kindness.

Let all bitterness, anger and wrath, shouting and slander be removed from you, along with all malice. And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ (Ephesians 4:31-32).

2. Teach Empathy

This might be a big word for your kids but it’s a powerful tool. Empathy is the ability to understand and share another person’s feelings and emotions. It involves recognizing someone else’s emotional state, imagining how they might be feeling, and responding with care and concern. Empathy goes beyond sympathy (feeling pity or sorrow for someone’s misfortune) by incorporating a deeper connection to the other person’s experience.

• Talk About Emotions: Have open discussions about feelings. Ask your children how they felt in various situations and how they think others might have felt. This helps them recognize and respect different emotions.

• Share Stories: Read books, watch movies, or share things from your day that highlight empathy, kindness, and moral dilemmas. Discuss the characters’ emotions and actions and ask your children how they would respond in similar situations.

• Examine Perspectives: Encourage your children to consider other people’s perspectives. When conflicts arise, help them see things from the other person’s point of view and discuss how to resolve the issue with kindness.

3. Create Opportunities for Kindness

Put kindness into practice and help your kids see and feel it in real-life situations. We can’t effectively teach anything without practicing what we are preaching. Again, we must lead the way when we give them opportunities.

• Give Them Responsibilities: Assign tasks that involve helping others, like setting the table, helping a sibling with homework, or taking care of a pet. Emphasize the importance of contributing to the family and helping each other.

• Serve Others: Participate in service projects as a family. Volunteering at a shelter, participating in a charity run, or collecting donations for a cause teaches children the value of giving back to the community.

• Encourage Random Acts of Kindness: Motivate your children to perform small, spontaneous acts of kindness, like sharing toys, complimenting others, or writing thank-you notes. Recognize and praise their efforts to reinforce positive behavior.

Let’s Be Kind Together

When was the last time you modeled kindness for your kids?

Can you think of a time when you should have modeled kindness and you didn’t?

Share that with your family and tell them how you could have handled the situation in a kind way.

Do you have open discussions about emotions with your kids? 

If not, in the next week try to begin opening the door to chatting about emotions, empathy and feelings. Activity: Go watch Inside Out 1 and/or Inside Out 2 together as a family - it’s a great discussion starter!

When is the last time you served or did a random act of kindness as a family? 

Now is a great time to start! Try scheduling a service project within the next month.

In a world where you can be anything, BE KIND!

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